


The Universe Unfolding as it Should

by bowtiesarecool



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s05e13 The Big Bang, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Love, Post Episode: s06e13 The Wedding of River Song, Season/Series 05 Spoilers, Season/Series 06 Spoilers, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-17
Updated: 2013-07-17
Packaged: 2017-12-20 13:03:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/887595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bowtiesarecool/pseuds/bowtiesarecool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>River senses something happened while the Doctor was behind the crack restarting the universe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Of the wide world I stand alone

**Author's Note:**

> Slightly AU relationship, already married in their timelines . This version of the doctor would not ask “Are you married river?” but say, “We are married, and I love you more than the universe itself”

She insisted the doctor go with her into the Tardis after the wedding, when he handed her back her diary in the garden. “Of course we’ll be back in time for more dancing. Remind me sweetie, who was it that said, ‘the world doesn’t end if the doctor dances’” River laughed at the look on his face, and continued, “I think we deserve some quiet time alone, dear husband. The universe restarting wears a girl out, not to mention what it does to my hair” He looked at her with the face of a little boy refusing to go to his room. “I’ll have you know, I did just stop the world from ending. I bloody well just saved the universe from collapse. There is nothing wrong with the way I dance. My dancing is, and always will be, cool. In fact, I’m a rather highly regarded dancer on many planets. This one time I was on….”

She stopped him mid sentence, taking his hand and leading him into the Tardis. She could be very persuasive when she needed to be, and right now she needed to be alone with her doctor. The look she saw in his eyes when he handed her back her diary reminded her of the faces of 51st century soldiers who came home after looking into the supernova of a dying star. She was a time traveler, so she had seen her husband when he was old. But she had never seen his eyes look as old as they did tonight.

The door closest to the console happened to be the doctor’s barely used bedroom, and she led him in before he had time to protest, or demonstrate the intergalactic dance moves he seemed so proud of. She silently thanked the Tardis for guiding her here, and felt the telepathic circuit reverberate in response. 

Once inside, she realized she didn’t know where to start. She thought to herself, what could she say other than; Thank you, sweetie, for restarting the universe and saving the whole of space and time. Anything happen to you there you want to tell me about?” 

They were still wearing their wedding clothes, but she had toed off her shoes and so had he. She looked at him thoughtfully and could feel in her mind that he understood why she brought him here. He started loosening his bowtie. He was facing slightly away from her but she saw his hands shake. She placed a hand on his back until he turned towards her.

“It’s all right my love, you are with me” she said and gently brought his hands into hers. She looked into his eyes and he looked back at her with love and grief and the look of a man who knew what it was like to lose everything. She softly pulled him towards her.  
He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tightly. “It’s okay, I’m here now” she murmured in his ear. Her voice was hoarse and gentle, almost a whisper. She guided him to the bed and they both sat on the edge.

He sank down beside her as an exhausted tremor went through his limbs. His arms and legs felt weak, and it wasn’t from dancing. For a moment, he couldn’t hold his body up, and he melted into her. 

He had been gone for only one day in her timeline, since she last saw him in the disintegrating universe. For him it felt much longer, restarting the universe in the void, where there was no time, no space, and no hope; only the nothingness in between. He buried his face in her hair and spoke quietly, “I was so scared. I had nowhere to feel safe. I thought of everything I should have done, everything I did wrong. Everyone I hurt. I didn’t know when I would come back. I missed you so much. I thought I would never…”

The last part came out as a whisper as his voice broke. He tried to compose himself but it was too much. His throat constricted and the inner corners of his eyes burned. His tears began to fall, wet tracks covering his cheeks. She could feel his relief in finally allowing himself this, and she knew he only felt safe enough when he was with her. His shoulders were shaking under her embrace as he pressed into her. He gripped her back shakily as he sobbed. He wept as he clung to her, his hands never letting go. He cried for the past and for the future. He cried for what was, and what would never be. But mainly he cried for her, and what she could never know and he could never tell her. Her neck was soon covered with his tears. She held him tightly, more to calm herself than him. She stroked his shoulders and ran her fingers gently through his hair.

His face was very wet when he was able to speak again. “The worst part was” he stopped and looked into her shining eyes, wet with her own unshed tears “I thought I would never see you again”. Her tears fell, blurring her vision but her voice remained steady as she held him. “Oh Sweetie, I promise to never leave you”. It was her turn to bury her head into his neck. He took in a shaky breath as he raised his hands to stroke her hair, and placed a kiss on her forehead. “I love you River. So much.” He was still trembling slightly, but his tears had stopped. The sadness in his eyes was still there. He seemed not calm, but resigned. She gently untangled herself from his arms and took off his suit jacket, undoing the pins from her hair in the process. She pulled them both further onto the bed until they were lying side by side. 

He took another shaky breath as he lay beside her. Their faces were almost touching. She turned towards him and brushed his face dry with her thumb. He leaned towards her and traced his hand down her face, which was wet too. She moved closer until their foreheads met. He gave a sad smile. “I love you River Song, always and completely” he whispered, and kissed the tears off her face.


	2. Love has no ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> River helps the Doctor carry the weight of the universe

River would have been content to lie there with the doctor for all the time they had left together. He had kissed her face over and over, laying gentle kisses across her cheeks and her eyebrows and her nose until no traces of tears remained. He told her that he loved her. How she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. How he admired her intelligence, her resourcefulness, and her bravery. And that he trusted her like no one else he had traveled with before. 

He had settled in next to her, nestled into her side with his hand in her hair and closed his eyes just for a moment. She was not surprised when he fell asleep. The fact that she was part Timelord allowed her to go for days without rest, and she knew he could go for quite longer, but everything catches up eventually. They had just been racing through time and space and back, with enough running to make anyone knackered. That many trips on her vortex manipulator in such quick succession would certainly knock anyone out. Once again she thanked the Tardis for leading them here.

With his eyes closed, he looked almost young. She could sense the rhythm of his hearts beating, and felt his chest moved up and down as his breathing relaxed. She brushed his hair back, and he looked so ancient and forever, but also so exhausted and fragile. So many sacrifices, she thought. So many times putting everyone else in the universe first. So many hard choices, and so many goodbyes. A sad man with his box, all alone in the universe. When had anyone been there to comfort him? To love him like he deserved? “My dear doctor”, she whispered, her heart breaking. “Know you are loved”. She placed an ever so light kiss on his head. 

He opened his eyes blearily. “River?” he looked up at her until he could see her clearly. She placed another kiss on his lips. “Hush, my darling. Close your eyes again, heaven knows you need the rest”. She smiled slightly as she spoke, knowing how unlikely it was that he would listen. Raising himself onto his elbows beside her he asked “How long was I laying here? Not waiting for a reply, he shot up immediately and started searching for his sonic screwdriver.  
“The wedding! Amy! Rory! Amy and Rory’s wedding! Your parents! River, do you realize what tonight is? Oh god, I am so incredibly thick! This is your parent’s wedding night. This is the night you are (he whispered, eyes wide) conceived! I promised you, not one line, and I’m rewriting you out of existence!” He had the look upon him of a condemned man looking for a way, any way, to escape such a fate. His eyes shone much too brightly, and his lips were trembling.

“Relax, my love”, River said soothingly as she pulled him closer “we’re in your bedroom in the Tardis, remember? Your old girl was kind enough to put us into a time loop. We can’t feel it in here, but once we step outside, it will be less than a minute after we entered. I know you can’t travel back to the same point in time once you landed, but this is a little residual energy left over from the big bang. That’s how she saved me during the explosion. Believe me, sweetie I have just as much at stake, if not more.” She smiled as she saw his expression change from panic, to amazement, to joy. “River, you are brilliant. Oh so brilliant. I could kiss you right now.”

She smiled at him, her mysterious River Song smile, and she kissed him first. She pulled her legs over his until she was facing him sitting on his lap. Their mouths met, and his body responded to the touch of her lips. She pushed her tongue into his mouth as if by kissing him harder she could take away some of his pain. Slowly and tenderly he reached behind her to unzip her dress. Carefully, like he was touching something sacred, he pulled the silky fabric over her arms, making sure to caress every inch of her skin. Clad only in her knickers and bra, she unbuttoned his shirt while he wriggled out of his trousers underneath her. He kissed the tops of her breasts as he unhooked her bra and took her nipple into his mouth. She threw her head back at the sensation as she pulled his boxers off and stroked his length in her hand. He scraped his teeth over her nipple, and lowered his fingers to her thighs. He pulled her knickers down and rubbed his thumb on her clit. She pushed into his hand as he traced her folds. He lined himself up to her entrance and brushed against her, and they both held their breath as she pushed down to let him inside of her. They slid against each other in slow strokes, her clit hitting his hip bone each time. She came first, with a shout and a whimper. He followed, coming undone within her a moment later.

Later on, he whispered in her ear snippets of an old earth poem. “You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”  
You are baby melody pond. You are doctor river song. Child of the universe and Child of the Tardis. My wife, my love, I promise we will be together as long as we can, the universe unfolding as it should.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from "As I Walked Out One Evening" by W H Auden

**Author's Note:**

> Titles from "Desiderata" by Max Ehrmann and "When I Have Fears That I May Cease To Be"  
> by John Keats


End file.
